onsdag 8 januari 2014

To live

It's rather strange.. The magic of music, how absolutely nurturing it is to ones senses.. To me it's one of the greatest artforms and I really don't know what I would do if I weren't able to listen to it anymore.. I don't think I would ever recover from the depression it would cause.
The main reason for it is that music has such a great influence on me and it fuels my mind to somehow travel through my own imagination. I'm not saying I would lose my imagination if I would lose the ability to hear, I would still be able to imagine, although instead of travelling through my inner worlds on the back of a dragon, maybe I would have to get there on foot.
..But it's not the destination, but the journey itself that is the point, right? Quite a cliché, but sure a true one.

I bought a better USB flash drive to back up my work. Somehow it feels like my very soul is sealed within this black little device and maybe that's why I locked it up and hid it away. People may steal my money, people may steal my consumer electronics or other unimportant things without value, but if they stole a piece of my very soul I would feel so abused..
(Although I really haven't got a bigger quantity of either money nor consumer electronics so I guess burglars would feel rather disappointed if they did a break-in in my home.)

I've realized this is what I really want to do with my life.. To write.
I have always felt the panic rush through my very being whenever I've been thinking about what kind of work I would do for a living. I've tried out many things. Florist, kindergarten teacher, barista, shop assistant in various stores and chambermaid.. Nothing speaks to me as much as writing and nothing scares the bones out of me like the thought of living a life I don't want to live. My heart has always been with art and literature. The very reason I have survived at all through my rather tough life is because of imagination.

I refuse a life of regrets.


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